This week I have been very down on myself. I have been scared about being confronted with the possibility that I won’t be able to meet my deadline. I am beating myself up about not working on my novel as much as I “should”. And I’m hesitating putting my fears and worries out there for people to see. Ironic because I also worry about how few people read this blog.
I’ve been human this week. It’s nothing I haven’t felt before, nothing I haven’t beaten myself up about before, and nothing I will not do to myself again in the future.
Yet despite all this doubt and fear, somehow I am always willing to keep going. I’m not sure why I haven’t given up yet. I wrote about 600 words of complaints and childishness before I got to what you see posted here. Maybe writing out this reflection really does allow me to put it behind me somehow.
This week I finished going through the Cinderella tale. The fight at the end is still rough, and I think it ends rather abruptly, but I have cleaned it enough for this pass.
12 weeks left. Let’s shift some things around. I spent four weeks going through the first 28k words (Four chapters). Seems rather slow, though I did have to do some serious rewriting so I technically did Chapter 2 twice.
I still need to finish going through the first half of the novel, which is another 4 or 5 chapters. Let’s see if I can get that done in three weeks. At that point I will better be able to judge how long the second half of the book should be. For those of you counting, that means I’ll end up with a book that’s way too long, but right now I’d like to run into that bridge.
This week’s goal is to get through the next two chapters.