Letting my Characters Go

I did a few smoothing passes on the Huntsman, each focusing on one of the main trio: Gabir, Tabitha, then Wildrose. I was able to push what I had written a little further with each pass.

Wildrose’s storyline is the one that needs the most work right now. I know where I need/want him to be at the end of this book, but he still has a large number of steps to get there. This is after I admitted to myself that the way I *wanted* him to get from here to there wasn’t going to work. I think the past two weeks I’ve repeated: “No, it doesn’t fit with my plan, but it’s what the character would do.” sooooooo many times.

Whenever I get stuck, like sit and stare at my computer screen for ten minutes without typing, stuck, it’s generally because I’m trying to force a character to do what I ‘need’ them to. (And I don’t always realize this right away.) When I release that expectation, they go off on their merry way, and while I have no idea if it will tie back into what I already have, it is much more natural and enjoyable.

I also made a list of the scenes that still need to be written. Not nearly as long as it was last time I did it which is encouraging. I wrote out two or three of those scenes and revised a few that I had previously written but needed to be updated. I had a few new things pop out that very possibly could lead somewhere nice in the way of tying things together. Still worried that I have too much going on, but I figure I’ll never figure out what’s the most important if I don’t write everything first.

Review: A Gathering of Shadows

My Review of A Gathering of Shadows by V. E. Schwab

My summary: (Spoilers for Book 1) Kell and Rhy deal with the fallout of the now infamous Black Night, for which not only the country, but even Kell’s adoptive parents blame him. Lila, now in Red London, manages to get herself hired on a pirate *cough* privateer ship in order to run from …well everything.

Why I picked up this book: Word of mouth. The series is hailed as amazing. I’m just catching up.

What I knew going in: It had actually been long enough since I read the first book that I sort of had forgotten what happened. I knew Kell could go between worlds with rare magic, that Lila reluctantly helped him, and then things went bad.

My response: Truthfully, I was not all that impressed by the first book. I thought it was alright, but while I liked Kell (he’s just my type) I didn’t much like Lila and when I got to the end of the book I don’t remember being very impressed.

Something changed between when I read that book and this. Either Schwab got a lot better at writing or I leveled up a few times in reading between the books. (Or both.) The writing was lyrical and kept impressing me. And the relationships between the characters felt so much more real in this book. I marked several conversations to go back to because I just loved the way the characters talked to each other.

And the story itself felt smooth and natural, which is some of the highest praise I give to a book. It was still a second book (ie, setting up for the third) but it gave me the payoffs I wanted, and several that I wasn’t aware I was looking for.

Do I recommend this book?: Yes.

A Personal Essay on Personal Essays

I had a rather interesting revelation the other day. I was listening to one of the DIY MFA Radio Podcasts, Episode 198 to be exact. Gabriela and the guest, Will, were talking about personal essay book, and how there doesn’t seem to be as large a market for personal essays on the Internet because everyone is more focused on throwing their opinions out there.

I’m listening to this and thinking about how I am no good at writing posts for my blog that state an opinion. In fact I just recently wrote an article about how I decided to avoid doing just that.

As I was listening to how they define a personal essay, I came to the realization that what I prefer to write are, in fact, personal essays. I look back at the articles I’ve written that are my favorites and they are basically me saying ‘here’s my experience, get what you can out of it.’

I have no desire to push my opinions on other people, and I am well aware that even the life changing experiences I’ve had for myself won’t necessarily mean anything to anyone else. My opinions are formed by my experiences, the same way yours will be. No one can tell you what those are unless you choose to let them.

If I want anything for you, it’s just for you to be more aware of yourself so you can figure out what is important to you and how that looks. And the way I do that is to be as authentic about my own experiences as possible, and let you glean whatever it is you want to out of what I’ve written, even if that’s nothing at all.

That’s just what feels right to me. I’m not sure I’ll change anything in the wake of finding out what I’m writing are personal essays. Maybe I will. My biggest takeaway from this is the label so I can speak and learn about it more intelligently.

Review: Winter

My Review of Winter by Marissa Meyer

My summary: The final installment of the Lunar Chronicles, Princess Winter of Luna has hallucinations due to not using her Luna Gift of being able to control the minds and/or body of anyone she comes into contact with, supported only by her beloved personal guard. Her Step-mother, Lavana in in the final stages of her plan to marry Prince Kai of the Earth’s Commonwealth, and the characters we met in the previous three books: Cinder, Scarlet, and Cress (along with their bos and Iko) are trying to stop her by raising an army of the mistreated Lunars.

Why I picked up this book: I read the first three a while ago in the hay-day of when these books were popular, but I didn’t quite like them enough to pay for the hardcover of Winter, so I put it off until I could get a paperback version, which just happened now. I picked up the first book in the series because …well cyborg Cinderella. It was a cool idea.

What I knew going in: We had met Winter briefly in previous books, so I knew somehow she was not entirely sane, and that her OTP was a royal guard.

My response: I liked this series as a whole. The world building felt solid, the characters were rather likable, and the story was enjoyable enough. I liked the way she hit the beats of the girl’s respective fairy tales within the story. The only one that ever felt really forced was Cinder’s orange beetle (the car type) that she drove to the ball.

My problem with this series ended up being the powers that the Lunars had. As you read above, most (like 97%) of Lunars have the power of mind control. They can make you see anything they want or take over your body and force you to do what they want, and as far as I could tell there is no way for you to know you’re not seeing something real (without a cyborg implant which very few people have), no way for anyone else to know you’re being manipulated, and no way for anyone else to know someone is doing manipulation. The ‘limitation’ of the power seems to be distance and possibly line of sight. Oh and some people are better at it than others, but in this book the quashed, cast off workers are able to take control of their guards in order to start their rebellion.

I remember reading after the first book that the author wished she had not made the Lunar gift quite so strong. In the first book, there is not a lot of interaction with any Lunars using their powers except the Queen, who is just straight up evil, so I can see where she didn’t thoroughly consider the effects of an entire race having these powers. But the more we interacted with a society where basically anyone could do this, and there was no defense against it outside of being controlled by someone else, I just found myself in disbelief that there were not more insane Lunars trying to control everything. In fact, I’m not even convinced there could be an easy peace between the peoples as the solution at the end of the book is everyone having an electronic device installed in their spines as a protection against being controlled. /shrugs

I don’t know the extent to which the powers were specifically detailed in the first book, but I spent the last half of the book thinking: “She *really* needed to have limited these powers in some other way because it’s just too powerful and there’s even a severe downside to being a good person and *not* using them. At one point, someone without the powers admonishes Winter, the princess who is going insane because she doesn’t use her powers, that she should just make everyone around her see her hair as orange if she doesn’t want to affect anyone in a negative way. And that’s really it. The entire race is built on a foundation of “it’s just easier to use my powers to mislead people than to not.”.

Setting that aside, it made Winter an interesting character in that she was basically schizophrenic. And she still functioned fairly well within the world, and people loved her, and she made friends. I think that was a rather important message, though it didn’t hit me for what it was until the very end.

This was a good capstone to the series, and it wrapped up everything nicely, if not simply in true fairy tale fashion.

Do I recommend this book?: In spite of the above, I did enjoy this series, and I would recommend it. Just, if you’re too hard of a simulationist, be wary about the powers.

Resetting

I came off of last week being on vacation where I really didn’t do much, if any writing. I came back and got back to work as I should finishing up rewriting a few Gabir scenes and then restarting the story to focus on Tabitha’s storyline. I put in a good number of hours through the week. Since I had last week off for Williamsburg, I agreed to work this weekend to give my coworker a nice long weekend. Oddly enough, despite that, Saturday I still got a lot done, and it wasn’t until Sunday that the extra barn work started dragging me down such that I told myself I needed to not push the writing too hard and just recover.

It’s a shame to lose the momentum I had, but I’ll get back to it tomorrow. I want to try and have Tabitha’s scenes done by June 3rd. I had to do a bit of a recheck into myself because I realized I was not enjoying the story because I was so focused on whether or not the story was technically ‘good’. One of the things I realize from writing this journal is that I keep having to come back to the same realizations, because it’s so easy to get caught up in life and goals and expectations that I lose focus on what’s important. Then I have to not beat myself up for having forgotten, because it’s just another one of those things. Every once and a while I just need to stop and reset by reminding myself of what’s important. And the ability to realize I need to do that is one of the most important skills I’ve learned. Anyway, I am back to feeling like I am making progress as I focus on writing a story I enjoy. Cause who cares if it’s technically ‘good’ if I hate it?

I’ve now pushed to the end of what I have so far for Tabitha, so I’m going to shift over to Wildrose and smooth through his scenes and see what comes out the other side. I’d like to get that done by the end of the week at the latest, and start trying to weave more Tabitha/Wildrose storylines together to catch up to where Gabir is. (By the end of the *next* week.)

Review: Sightwitch

My Review of Sightwitch by Susan Dennard

My summary: Ryber is a Sightwitch hopeful, living her life in the hidden convent where the Sightwitches serve the Goddess of the world. She tries to do everything perfectly, but she has never been chosen to gain the sight. Her Threadsister is chosen by the Goddess, and then doesn’t come back. And soon the rest of the Sightwitches are chosen, until Ryber is the only one left.

Why I picked up this book: I feel in love with this series at Truthwitch, and keep managing to stumble on it again right before a new book comes out. This one, though a novella, is no exception.

What I knew going in: The summary from above, and the fact that I love this author.

My response: It was really good, but not amazing. It was done up as journal entries that sometimes had other people read them and leave comments, which was cute, and the way the storylines wove together really worked well. At the same time, the characters felt very one note, and I assume that’s because the book was so short, there was only so much time for development. I also knew how to solve the “puzzle” the book presents to the main character from the beginning, so there was less mystery to that. Still, overall enjoyable and a solid read.

I was also glad to finally see some more of the “wonderful world-building” they’ve been talking about for this series since the beginning. Truthfully, I wasn’t all that impressed by the world through the first two books. There are some clever things, but this book really starts diving into some of the deeper aspects of the world and I’m happy with what I saw.

Do I recommend this book?: If you have read the first two books in the Witchlands series, then this is a good accompaniment. Time will tell whether having read it will mean much for your understand of the two books that are yet to come out. If you haven’t read the series, then no.

Working on Vacation

So this past weekend I was in Williamsburg for vacation (Yes, Williamsburg, because I’m old.) and I can still remember the stresses of the up-coming vacation. Trying to get everything done in prep (I didn’t) hoping things would be calm at work (they weren’t) not forgetting anything important (we did).

The first morning I sat down in front of my computer, entirely intent on writing something, as I usually do on vacation because I just love to write. I realized about ten minutes in that I didn’t want to write. I forced myself to anyway, because what is vacation for if not having time to get things done?

And after I had finished I looked at it. Why? Why was I forcing myself to work? Yes, I got something done. Something that wouldn’t have gotten done otherwise. I had filled my head with idea that since I had written on vacation in the past, I should do it now. Because this was time I could spend writing …why wouldn’t I?

And I think we humans do this a lot. We convince ourselves that it’s not a good time to take a vacation. That there’s more that needs to be done! Right now! Can’t wait! I was able to turn something I generally enjoy into work. (I mean and it normally is work, but I was on vacation.)

The truth of the matter is yes. There is always going to be something to do. All. The. Time. That’s never going to go away. It’s important, I think, that when you do set aside time for yourself, whether it’s a whole vacation or just relaxing in the evening, that you don’t convince yourself somehow that you should be working. Take that time to relax. Yes, you could be getting something done, but relaxing is getting something done as well. It just doesn’t always feel like it. There is a time to get the job done and there is a time to sit back and relax, and you’re never going to relax unless you make that time for yourself.

It’s Vacation Time Again

So Camp Nanowrimo was both a success and not. I easily passed my word count goal of 20k. I validated with 30k, but I didn’t finish writing all the scenes I needed in the Huntsman. I did a lot of new ones, and then I went back and rewrote a number of scenes. I am certainly further than I was at the beginning of the April, but certainly not as far as I would’ve liked to be. Of course ‘doneness’ of a novel is not an easy thing to calculate, so it’s more like, my goal of having a draft 0 done has still not been reached.

I’m still moving forward, I’m still making progress, but I really want to hit some sort of milestone. Something I can point to and say, ‘I’ve finished x.’ I mean I gave myself a reward for reaching my goal in Camp Nanowrimo, but I feel like that was a milestone for Camp Nanowrimo, and not necessarily my book.

Of course this week I’m on vacation and I’m trying to give myself a break from having to work on Huntsman. I generally write for an hour or so in the mornings even when I’m on vacation because I love writing. I just don’t give myself any time or word count goals. I write for as long as I want to, on whatever project I want to. (I spent this morning on a scene from Blessings of the Nerial.)

I’m hoping that this more lax structure will help me to gather myself and be ready to move forward again once vacation is over. Short post, I’m on vacation.

Subjective Opinions

I went to a horse show recently with my appaloosa gelding, Nick. I showed a number of classes, but one class in particular was Showmanship. Showmanship is a class where you show your horse in-hand and take them through a defined pattern, and it is a class both Nick and I are well trained in.

I ran my showmanship pattern at this show, and I knew I had done well. I hit the points I was supposed to hit, Nick stayed with me and went through the maneuvers as he should, and I was smiling as I left the ring. My coach even gave me a “good job” as I exited. Out of five participants in the class, I received 5th, 3rd, and 1st, one from each of three judges. I realized had no idea how to interpret that. One judge thought I did the best of the class and another thought I did the worst?

And so, of course, it made me think about book reviews, (of course!). While I don’t have any books of my own out there to be reviewed yet, I have read plenty of book reviews for other books. I’ve read plenty of reviews for books I haven’t read, but I have also gone back to read reviews for books that I have read. I have seen one star reviews on books that have literally changed my life for the better, and five star reviews on books that I thought were just horribly written.

The reminder here is that judging anything is so subjective. Different people put different weight on different things based on their experiences, skill/knowledge, and even current mood. Even on something as short as my two minute showmanship pattern, it’s possible that one of the judges saw Nick step out of line, or thought he was crooked, or not engaging his back. Another was impressed by a beautiful stop or a well done haunch turn. It’s possible that it was a matter of them looked down or up at different times.

After I thought about it, it just brought to light how little control I have over other people’s opinions. Even my favorite authors have people who don’t like their books. I will have my own book out there one day and I will likely get more of the same. People who laud my writing as something that spoke to them, and others who curse my name to the depths of hell.

While it is much harder for an entire book to be all good or all bad, if I can get such varying results from a two minute showmanship pattern, then it’s not surprising to get varying results from a 100k word novel. It just shone a little more light on the fact that I’d better like the book I produce, because I’m putting in far more time than anyone who reads it, and I have no control over how anyone likes it.

Review: The Cloud Roads

My Review of The Cloud Roads by Martha Wells

My summary: Moon has two forms he can shift between at will, one that looks humanish and one that is a humanoid flying reptile. He’s been on his own for a long time and uses his humanoid (groundling) form while keeping his other form a secret, and moving on whenever his secret gets out.

When his current home finds out his secret they nearly kill him, but he is saved by another of his kind who takes him back to his colony, where Moon finds out he’s more special than he thought, and his people are dying out.

Why I picked up this book: I saw the second book at World Fantasy Con, and I loved the look of the flying reptiles, but that wasn’t enough to get me to pick it up. I later read about it in an article about books the meld magic and technology. That was enough to get me to order the first book.

What I knew going in: Flying. Reptiles. (But not dragons.) Also, I was looking for the meld of magic and technology.

My response: I really liked the characters in this book, especially Moon, and the way he interacts with the other Raksura. Because they’re a different race, Martha got away with playing around with how the characters interacted with each other outside of normal gender norms in a way I found interesting and surprisingly refreshing.

The world she created also had a rather profound effect on me. It was so open and varied. It inspired me to look back at my own immense fantasy world, Feldoor, that’s been sitting in the trunk for years, and to do far better with the world building. It’s quite the book that I not only enjoy but makes me want to write more.

Do I recommend this book?: Yes. I read that this book series almost didn’t get published because it doesn’t follow normal fantasy tropes, so the publisher didn’t know how they were going to market it, and I can see why, but that in itself makes it so refreshing.